Solitary Confinement

I am bored, to the core of my being. I feel alone cos I have no one to talk to. I cant go out and visit any place cos the damn weather is fucked up most of the time or when it is better i am fucked up cos of a hangover.

Sitting alone in a house in a strange land where the people you talk to, ur friends are really just people u HAVE to hang out with. Colleagues. Not friends. Friends are far away in distant lands spread wide across the globe. it s stupid to think or hope for your family and friends to be there to talk to when I need them cos of the damn time difference. and moreover everyone has a life of their own and watever time is spent for me is far more than they actually can.

Now I realise what solitary confinement feels like and I fear by the time I go back to India I might no longer be the person my family and friends said "Goodbye. Come back soon." to a few months ago.

Growing up???

The damn ntitle sounds as if i am already old.

NO NO I am not.

But as of late what have I done that resembles any iota of youthfullness?
Have I visited a disc and danced till I couldnt breathe anymore or have I taken that really long bike ride and almost got killed adding that adrenaline rush I was so used to?

The answer is no, a big NO.

I cant wait to get back to my motherland and start doing things which I did, which gave me such a rush. Working life sucks big time and slowly but surely things are getting into such a shape that few years down the line I would not recognise myself in the mirror.
"who's tht? werent u fun a while back? werent u the one who used to hatch up plans to visit crazy places at odd times in the day? werent u the one who used to drink one full bottle of hard liquor and wud be sober enough to pull others' legs?"

I want those days back and I will m ake sure I get them.